Using strategies from “The whole brain child” by Dan Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson to help parents
As a therapist I come across resources that work for parents that I feel are effective. Dan Siegel has written a number of books on child psychology using neuroscience and practical, effective strategies. The Whole Brain child helps parent to understand their child’s brain better, which allow them to handle tantrums and emotions reactions more effectively. The child learns effective skills that helps them have better relationships with peers, do better in school and in the future be a better spouse. They develop lifelong skills that help them become better at coping and dealing with stressors.
The Whole Brain child is a good resource for a parent to use to understand their child’s brain. Often if parents understand how the brain is reacting to information and how a child is emotionally dysregulated from a brain point of view, the parent is able to help the child handle emotions more effectively. If the parent can help the child integrate emotions into their brain and assist the child in identifying their emotions related to their world experience, the child is able to handle disappointments, transitions and stress more effectively. These are great skills for any child. The benefit is the child becomes better at identifying their emotions using their whole brain rather than the lower functions of their brain.
Dan Siegel uses the terms upstairs and downstairs brain to explain how the brain has different parts and how the upstairs brain needs to be engaged for optimal performance. Often the downstairs brain takes over during difficult times and the child is not as in control of emotions. By providing this information to parents, the child and parent are able to work together to develop both an upstairs and downstairs brain.
Here are the ten Strategies recommended to help children manage their brain with a caregivers and other adults help. This helps develop upstairs and downstairs brain integration as well as Mindsight.
Ten strategies for becoming a whole brain childt:
Strategy one – Connect and Redirect: surfing the emotional brain.
By understanding the brain you can create cooperation and reduce the emotional reactivity or meltdowns. We connect with the right brain by using physical touch, empathy, facial expression and nurturing tone of voice and listening. The left brain is engaged when the right brain is connected then redirection to the left brain through logic and planning.
Strategy two – Name it to tame it: telling stories through calming big emotions
Using this strategy the parent helps the child to engage their left brain by helping them identify the emotions they are experiencing. By identifying the emotions the child is helped by integration of the left and right brain. The child may tell the story more than once before it is integrated. The parent helps the child by providing space to tell the story.
Strategy three – Engage, don’t Enrage: appealing to the upstairs brain
The book asks parent to engage in the upstairs brain – higher functions of the brain rather than allowing the lower part of the brain to engage and hijack the amygdala, which leads to the emotional part of the brain to take over. This means the parents become part of the solution for helping their child to engage the upstairs brain by assisting the child to integrate their upstairs and downstairs brain.
Strategy Four – Use it or lose it: Exercising the upstairs brain.
The parent can help their child exercise their upstairs brain by giving them opportunities to practice good decision making, controlling emotions, self-understanding, Empathy, and morality. The brain is able to help the child with these functions through practice. When the parent helps the child developing the upstairs brain they see the benefits in the child being able to handle difficulties, less problem behaviour and less emotional reactivity over time.
Strategy Five – Move it or loss it: moving the body to avoid losing the mind.
Through exercise, play and just being a kid, children and adults are able to control stress, anxiety and emotions such as anger, sadness, and frustration. When a child has lost control of their upstairs brain, parents and other adults can help the child gain control of their brain by getting them moving. Through movement the child is able to change their emotional state.
Strategy Six – Using the remote of the mind: replaying memories
Storytelling is a powerful tool. It can be used to integrate the implicit and explicit memories. The child may not be ready to replay the whole story, but can be taught to use a “remote control” and stop the story when they overwhelmed. Retelling the story until them are able to explain what they experienced may be part of the process. This will help them integrate the story into their implicit and explicit memory.
Strategy Seven – Remember to remember: making recollection part of Your Family’s daily life
By retelling the story the child is able to integrate their implicit memory and explicit memory. If you notice a child is struggling with an experience, Remembering an experience can help them as recollection can identify strengths and help process negative experiences.
Strategy Eight – let the clouds of emotions roll by: teaching that feelings come and go.
It’s important for everyone to learn that emotions come and go. If a child is able to understand that emotions are only temporary then they can learn that emotions will pass. Understanding that emotions are states can help children and adults learn that emotions impact how we are viewing the world. Our experience of the world will look differently once we have changed the emotional state we are experiencing.
Strategy Nine – SIFT: Paying attention to what’s going on inside
By becoming aware of what is happening inside the child, adult is able to become aware of what they are experiencing. The parents’ job becomes to help the child recognize and understand different viewpoints of their experience. SIFT is used to identify sensations, images, feelings and thoughts that may be influencing the experience the child is having. Mindsight into what is going on in their brain provides the child with more information. Dan Siegal uses SIFT to remember the four parts of the process.
S – Sensations
I – Images
F – Feelings
T – Thoughts
Strategy Ten – exercising Mindsight: getting back to the hub
The wheel of awareness is becoming aware of many things that impact our experience. Mindsight is developed by being aware of different things that are impacting their perception of the experience. This may involve more awareness of other people’s experiences.
If you are wanting more information on the strategies, you can pick up the book at amazon, your local library and local book stores.
Maureen French is a Registered Clinical Counsellor in Abbotsford and Mission, BC. She works with children, teens and adults in individual counselling. She has completed training in Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples and Gottman Couple Therapy. Maureen is an active member of BC Play Therapy Association and BC association of Clinical counsellors. You can contact Maureen at info@lifebalancecounselling.com If there is information you would like to see please send me an email. Maureen also does talks on relationships and common relationship issues.
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